daily choices
photograph by Aiste Saulyte
From finding my way into the day in a gentler way, to easing into sleep with steam & salt, these are my simplest rituals for the spirit
I like, when I can, to rise early. I love the sensation of entering a silent world – everyone slumbering, and there is only me, my feet in slippers, a steaming mug in my hands, dragon-smoke breath as I step into the garden to smell the honeyed air.
Before heading downstairs, where I light a candle or burn some incense, and pop the kettle on, I scrape my tongue and brush my teeth with salt toothpaste, or an Ayurvedic powder that I make at home. Once awake (although he often rises before me) my husband bakes our bread and makes delicious sourdough loaves – so it’ll be toast with greens or mushrooms, or spicy omelettes, or buckwheat-and-cinnamon pancakes or French toast, or nourishing waffles… always hearty and wholesome, and important to fuel the kids up well for their day ahead too.
My natural beauty choices are…
Increasingly simple. When I was pregnant with my first child, my skin became extra sensitive, and any scented (even naturally scented) skincare, made it sore and red. So, raw honey and live natural yoghurt became two of my most commonly used masks – honey is a great humectant, so draws moisture into the skin, while of course aiding repair. And yoghurt contains the naturally gentle exfoliant, lactic acid, which also soothes – so it’s a great face mask to rebalance combination skin – to exfoliate and hydrate at the same time. I create my own masks, customising them based on my skin’s needs – I use turmeric, sandalwood, probiotics, live yoghurt, spirulina, chlorella, oats, rose… I mix the dry elements with raw honey, which brings the goodness to life, and I leave it on my skin for an hour sometimes. I cleanse with oils – I love Mauli’s cleansing oil, Made For Life’s cleansing balm, and Absolution Cosmetics’ Le Baume Celeste, which goes on as a silken oil balm, and then emulsifies to a rinse-off milk with water.
After years of trial and error I have also started making my own cleansing oil using organic cold-pressed jojoba, hemp, camelina and castor oil. It’s been a revelation! I remove my cleanser with a softest bamboo cloth, dipped in warm water. I might then apply one of my bespoke blend oils – I adore raspberry seed infused with rose, and calendula-infused jojoba and often blend the two – I also love evening primrose oil, taking both orally and applied externally.
Self-love means…
Loving yourself as unconditionally as you love your children. You’ll make mistakes, you’ll say stupid things, you’ll regret and fear and doubt… until you realise, you really were just doing what you believed to be right. You’re doing your best. You're unique, and you should love yourself the way that only your nearest and dearest love you – no conditions.
Self-love is…
Mostly linked to rest, letting go, slowing down and topping up that inner reservoir. Every couple of nights I make a point of heading up to bed really early (8pm early!) – I line up a Yoga Nidra or meditation session with Movement for Modern Life, get my room ready – light a candle or use my diffuser, wrap myself in a blanket, support my body with a bolster and pillows, and just disappear into it… breathing, blissed out, in a silent house as the children slumber… it restores me so hearteningly, and I don’t need to head back home afterward, I’m already there. I am also in love with restorative bathing and have so many beautiful rituals – I add sea salt, and make up a garnis – a sort of bouquet of herbs or flowers, such as rose & calendula, to which I often add oats, as they’re wonderfully skin-soothing – all wrapped up in a muslin, and popped into the water, whereby it infuses the bath with beautiful herbal benefits.
Ayurveda & beyond
I think that my love of Ayurveda has helped guide my hand a lot… it’s such a gentle science… strenuous exercise is seen as a bizarre concept in Ayurveda – it asks: why push your body so hard, make yourself lose your breath, sweat buckets, and then ‘refuel’ at the end? We’re not machines – we’re soft tissue and tensile bone, fluid cell and moist membrane… go easy, go slow, go soft… which I know isn’t very fashionable, but it just feels right to me… I like that softly softly approach – I sometimes wonder if the reason so many of us are addicted to things such as sugar, alcohol, nicotine is because we’re partially depleted in spirit… so we never stop hungering after something to fill the hole… and of course, when I am completely depleted, and have been working too hard and sleeping poorly and not decompressing for days on end, the simplest mantras I use (which were given to me by Suzy Reading), are ’Nothing is required of me right now,’ and ‘I give myself permission to rest.’ When lying in bed, mind racing, trying to sleep – saying that over and over – makes me realise that I cannot do anything else in that moment. Just accepting peace. Stillness. Nothingness. Knowing that Inaction is an Action (another favourite thought) – we can choose to be still, thoughtful, restful, meditative, quiet. It’s not lazy – it’s wholly restorative, and oh so bloody necessary.
In recent years, my love & study of Ayurveda has naturally evolved and developed into something else, that feels more specific & true to me, my heritage & my heart… it was the herbal medicine module of my wonderful Ayurveda course that thrilled me the most, and led me on to studying herbal medicine as a separate pursuit. Since then, I have also immersed myself in the study of botanicals such as flower essences and aromatherapeutic oils, and am utterly fascinated with the naturopathic approach to overall, holistic wellbeing, as taught at my wonderful school, The School of Natural Medicine UK, run by the sage & kind Bonny Casel. I sometimes wish I had come to these studies sooner… I have in truth known for a very long time that I wanted to practice natural medicine, but have spent the past 20 years as a Health & Wellbeing Editor & journalist – it’s a very hard thing to walk away from, because it’s endlessly fascinating and I’ve learned so much along the way that it never felt hollow or lacking in any way. I’m thankful now, though, to have awakened to my truest calling, and to be resolute in this life-path, for however long I get to walk it.
Books on my reading list which inspire me are…
If I have time to read, I reach for a novel. I read literature at Durham and grew up longing to live in a bookshop or a library. I was always that kid at the party, sat in the corner of the room with their nose in a book. Reading has always been my deepest, purest pleasure. So, I’ll reach for my favourite books – Anything at all by Toni Morrison, Arcadia by Lauren Groff, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Bronte, Tess of the D’Urbervilles by Hardy… we so often learn about the experience of others empathically, and novels take us out of our own over-busy minds… so, so needed.
My weekly exercise routine consists of…
hmmmmm! I have no routine. If I am able, I love getting myself to a Friday afternoon yoga class, but more often than not, it’s simply blissful to get down to my mat, in my own bedroom, with Movement for Modern Life (my favourite online yoga company) a few times a week – and do whatever I am in the mood for that day. It’s very rarely dynamic, as I practice at night when I am hoping to wind down, but stretching is always so welcome and so wonderfully soothing. Aside from that, simply walking and lifting (kids! kids’ bags! kids and bags and shopping!) and being on my feet a lot. I am a bit of a natural fidget so also get up every 30 mins at least if at my desk, for a nice stretch and short stroll around. And with two rambunctious girls at home, there’s very little opportunity for stillness – but I like that feeling of being on my feet, quick-footed, keen & vital. But most of my movement is incidental rather than purposeful (i.e. a psycle class) – which I actually believe is the best sort of movement.
I can't travel without…
a warm blanket, a water flask & de Mamiel Altitude Oil. I dab it on the kids’ nostrils and my own, and we always fly with it as it is made with anti-viral oils. I also make our own calendula balm, which we use as a barrier balm – again rubbed inside nostrils, to catch airborne germs, and to keep our skin & lips moist.
At the moment I am focusing on…
getting a better balance between everything I do. Always asking myself, ‘Does it feel right? Good? Positive? Joyful?’ – and then saying a big fat YES if it does! Partnering with people and brands who live and breathe a holistic health message – and do so ethically and kindly – lights up every cell of my being. First & foremost, there is the crucial time with my family, who will always come first. So, I am working towards a four day working week with 3 full days unplugged, connected and present… and unapologetically so. I want everyone I work with, and everyone I ultimately employ to switch off and be wholly unavailable on a regular, pre-agreed basis. Anything else is plainly unhealthy – and we have to stop pretending otherwise.
Our purpose is at the heart of our wellbeing. And defining that purpose, and working to achieve it, delivers fulfilment. I don’t have any great lofty notions – I just want to feel as though I go through life kindly, thoughtfully… naturals in skincare felt right, ethical clothing felt right, reusing and repurposing rather than discarding or buying lots of new stuff felt right, growing our own veg and baking our own bread and eating seasonally felt right… and for so many, these things do bring joy and go on to improve our health as a result. So, for me, it was working out what simple things just made me feel happier.
The way I choose to live is not a diktat, it’s just been a slow, organic evolution… I think for a lot of people, you may start eating organic meat and eggs (or choose not to eat them at all), and then you may think about the ingredients in your skincare or make-up, then you might question who makes your clothes and how… there’s an ideological impetus behind things, that begins with a question… if I purchase this, what values am I endorsing and supporting? And when it comes to my health, honestly, it’s the simplest answer of all: our health is everything! But being painfully strict and careful and cautious and controlling is not health. Being dogmatic about how many times you’ll move, for how long, and how hard, in order to expend how many calories, is not health. Eating every green leaf and rainbow-coloured superfood under the sun, entirely out of season, and when you don’t really fancy it anyway, is not health. Begin within – begin with how you feel, and what you want to feel. Once the spirit and mind are nourished, the body follows suit… and trust yourself more.
